(My Sunday morning news interview with Kristi Noem would have gone quite differently.)
So, you say you want to kill Biden’s dog. Would you use a gun, or just spew out your political views until he kills himself?
How many dogs would you be willing to kill to become vice-president?
Is it true that you bumped off your kid’s hamster for peeing on your shoe?
How much do you pay the owner of the gravel pit to house the bodies of your dead animals?
Have you read Pet Sematary?
How much would you charge to kill my neighbor’s dog?
Is it true you vowed to kill a dog a day until Trump is reinstated as President?
Could you take us to the body of Cricket, so we could verify you shot her, for journalistic purposes?
Do you know you can take your dog to a shelter, and they’ll rehome her with a family that won’t kill her? Or do you consider that welfare?
Tell me if you agree with this statement: “Shoot dogs, let God sort ‘em out!”
Who once said, “My only regret is that I have but one dog to shoot for my country.”
How aggressive do you feel around colicky babies?
Would you consider starring in a remake of Cujo, except in this one, it’s a terrified dog hiding in a car to escape from you?
Is it true you orgasm at the end of Old Yeller?